they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
