And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
