Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Drake has all the answers
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize