Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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