So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
