I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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