I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
