you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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