Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Randomize
