pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
