I think I won the penis lottery.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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