I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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