My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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