I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize
