$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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