just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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