You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
