You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
