I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
