fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
