you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
