the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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