OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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