You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just had sex on a roof
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
