Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
