I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
can we not compare my dick to a childrenโs folk tale
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
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