Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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