Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
and she was petting her beer can
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
