So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
