Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I cockslap morals
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
