i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
