This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
