Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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