How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
