Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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