He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
