Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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