Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
