do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i came on her dog
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
