if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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