I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
