Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
