he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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