It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
