I puked a lego.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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