My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
