I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
