oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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