I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
