I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
