what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
